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Rahul Gandhi, pleased at Mangalyaan’s escape velocity, contemplates giving a speech on Mars.
Attendance numbers at Rahul Gandhi’s rallies have fallen, prompting the PM-aspirant-who-doesn’t-really-want-it-but-what-can-he-do-if-the-nation-needs-him to seek fresh extra-terrestrial votebanks.
Martians’ ignorance of Bollywood should further help Rahul’s cause, as he impresses them with the 80s’ Bollywood-script he has been using instead of a speech these days.
A nationwide survey on this matter had 104% of those surveyed (some voted twice in trembling excitement) agreeing that Rahul should depart immediately, before Narendra Modi can sabotage this brilliant idea. Unfortunately, the details of this poll cannot be shared here. Because.
Nov 5, 2013

Rahul Gandhi, pleased at Mangalyaan’s escape velocity, contemplates giving a speech on Mars.

Attendance numbers at Rahul Gandhi’s rallies have fallen, prompting the PM-aspirant-who-doesn’t-really-want-it-but-what-can-he-do-if-the-nation-needs-him to seek fresh extra-terrestrial votebanks.

Martians’ ignorance of Bollywood should further help Rahul’s cause, as he impresses them with the 80s’ Bollywood-script he has been using instead of a speech these days.

A nationwide survey on this matter had 104% of those surveyed (some voted twice in trembling excitement) agreeing that Rahul should depart immediately, before Narendra Modi can sabotage this brilliant idea. Unfortunately, the details of this poll cannot be shared here. Because.

Akali Dai - BJP announced Sunny Deol as their MP candidate for Ludhiana, in the next elections, the seat currently held by Manish Tiwari, Union Minister of Information & Broadcasting.
Manish Tiwari is presumably trying to come up with a statement.
Nov 3, 2013

Akali Dai - BJP announced Sunny Deol as their MP candidate for Ludhiana, in the next elections, the seat currently held by Manish Tiwari, Union Minister of Information & Broadcasting.

Manish Tiwari is presumably trying to come up with a statement.

Shri Rahul Gandhi, beard-hair-apparent, has started shooting his debut film - scripted, auditioned, casting-couched, acted, directed, edited, cam-ripped, illegally downloaded, entirely by him.
In this movie, Rahul Gautama, an angry, young prince who has seen too much suffering from inside his air-conditioned Scorpio, feels that he must break the shackles of humanity and free them from their pain. He decides that, for the good of his people, he must rid them of all their worldly possessions and store them safely somewhere else. In Switzerland. And Lichtenstein.
Meanwhile, everyone should find a tree and sit down.
Unfortunately, the movie is not doing very well, primarily because a sexually-repressed, conservative population has only so many fucks to give.
With a cliched 90s storyline, it tries to be Sabse Bada Khiladi, but comes off as Baazigar, except no one fell for the contact lens deception this time. And we’re getting kinda tired of your shit, Vicky Malhotra.
I think you should leave now.
Oct 24, 2013 / 1 note

Shri Rahul Gandhi, beard-hair-apparent, has started shooting his debut film - scripted, auditioned, casting-couched, acted, directed, edited, cam-ripped, illegally downloaded, entirely by him.

In this movie, Rahul Gautama, an angry, young prince who has seen too much suffering from inside his air-conditioned Scorpio, feels that he must break the shackles of humanity and free them from their pain. He decides that, for the good of his people, he must rid them of all their worldly possessions and store them safely somewhere else. In Switzerland. And Lichtenstein.

Meanwhile, everyone should find a tree and sit down.

Unfortunately, the movie is not doing very well, primarily because a sexually-repressed, conservative population has only so many fucks to give.

With a cliched 90s storyline, it tries to be Sabse Bada Khiladi, but comes off as Baazigar, except no one fell for the contact lens deception this time. And we’re getting kinda tired of your shit, Vicky Malhotra.

I think you should leave now.

Shri Narendra Modi Riotborn of House BJP, the Khal of Gujarat, video-conferenced his well-practiced speech - about how everything the UPA has done is wrong - leaving all attendees, at a Mumbai event, in a state of awe and sheer disbelief at his high-speed internet plan.
Members were left amazed at the ridiculous bandwidth and high data capacity of Modi’s internet connection, as he went on to blame the UPA for "piling their sinful mistakes on the people of the country".
He declared that he would bail out the economy, giving out such gems of economic advice - “We need to cut out imports … our exports must go up…”. He vowed to not rest until the Iron Gaddi was his, and to cast away the evil of King Joffrey Gandhi and his mother, the Queen Regent.
Shri Narendra Modi, officially the BJP Khaleesi for the general elections in 2014, then completed his sandwich by adding a final, covering layer of anti-UPA rhetoric, to fire up the spirits of his vast army of Modi-tards. Unfortunately, they could not hear a single thing, being used to constantly chanting - "Modi! Modi!" - at all times. Every. Single. Day.
Oct 7, 2013 / 1 note

Shri Narendra Modi Riotborn of House BJP, the Khal of Gujarat, video-conferenced his well-practiced speech - about how everything the UPA has done is wrong - leaving all attendees, at a Mumbai event, in a state of awe and sheer disbelief at his high-speed internet plan.

Members were left amazed at the ridiculous bandwidth and high data capacity of Modi’s internet connection, as he went on to blame the UPA for "piling their sinful mistakes on the people of the country".

He declared that he would bail out the economy, giving out such gems of economic advice - “We need to cut out imports … our exports must go up…”. He vowed to not rest until the Iron Gaddi was his, and to cast away the evil of King Joffrey Gandhi and his mother, the Queen Regent.

Shri Narendra Modi, officially the BJP Khaleesi for the general elections in 2014, then completed his sandwich by adding a final, covering layer of anti-UPA rhetoric, to fire up the spirits of his vast army of Modi-tards. Unfortunately, they could not hear a single thing, being used to constantly chanting - "Modi! Modi!"at all times. Every. Single. Day.