Rahul Gandhi, pleased at Mangalyaan’s escape velocity, contemplates giving a speech on Mars.
Attendance numbers at Rahul Gandhi’s rallies have fallen, prompting the PM-aspirant-who-doesn’t-really-want-it-but-what-can-he-do-if-the-nation-needs-him to seek fresh extra-terrestrial votebanks.
Martians’ ignorance of Bollywood should further help Rahul’s cause, as he impresses them with the 80s’ Bollywood-script he has been using instead of a speech these days.
A nationwide survey on this matter had 104% of those surveyed (some voted twice in trembling excitement) agreeing that Rahul should depart immediately, before Narendra Modi can sabotage this brilliant idea. Unfortunately, the details of this poll cannot be shared here. Because.
Shri Narendra Modi Riotborn of House BJP, the Khal of Gujarat, video-conferenced his well-practiced speech - about how everything the UPA has done is wrong - leaving all attendees, at a Mumbai event, in a state of awe and sheer disbelief at his high-speed internet plan.
Members were left amazed at the ridiculous bandwidth and high data capacity of Modi’s internet connection, as he went on to blame the UPA for "piling their sinful mistakes on the people of the country".
He declared that he would bail out the economy, giving out such gems of economic advice - “We need to cut out imports … our exports must go up…”. He vowed to not rest until the Iron Gaddi was his, and to cast away the evil of King Joffrey Gandhi and his mother, the Queen Regent.
Shri Narendra Modi, officially the BJP Khaleesi for the general elections in 2014, then completed his sandwich by adding a final, covering layer of anti-UPA rhetoric, to fire up the spirits of his vast army of Modi-tards. Unfortunately, they could not hear a single thing, being used to constantly chanting - "Modi! Modi!" - at all times. Every. Single. Day.